It's hard to believe, but it's true. It's been 4 weeks since our world changed forever. I have loved getting to know our son this month.We have had a lot of one on one time together and I am so grateful.I am seeing a small glimpse of the special relationship that a Mommy and son have.It's true sweetness.Happy 4 weeks to our wonderful son! 
Okay just to clarify we do not know anyone by the name of Dee Dee. However, this is Kate's name for everyone including me and her ever popular Daddy. When we leave the room she will say "Bye bye Dee Dee!" When we go in to pick her up from her nap she says, "Hi Dee Dee!" I took the kids to Target yesterday (yes, both of them, I am this short of crazy) and she waved and said "Hi Dee Dee!" to almost every single person we came across. Everyone loved it and everyone smiled at her. Well everyone except for that sullen teenager. She looked hurt so I had to explain to her that teenagers are lost in their own world. He thought he was too cool to smile at her but little did he know that she was way cooler than him.
I am catching a glimpse of Kate's teenage years as her favorite thing to do lately is shut herself in her room.When we are upstairs she will crawl in her room and slam the door shut. I had to laugh yesterday as I inched the door open and asked her, "Can I come in?"
One totally random music note. I thought about this while we were listening to the Best of Stevie Wonder in the car today and looked back and saw Kate bee boppin to "Signed, Sealed, Delivered".As long as I can control it, my kids will be raised on Beatles, Motown, and the Beach Boys and of course praise music :). None of this Hannah Montana crap. Sorry Hannah or is it Montana? My #1 musical pet peeve is when some new artist (loose term) remakes an old classic hit and butchers it and someone who is not familar with the original says, "oh I just love that new song by so and so." I just have to tell them, "That is not so and so's original they redid that song because they don't have a creative or orginal bone in their body." Bottom line, stick to the classics. Ok I'm off my soap box.
Here are some more scenes from our day.This post is being brought to you by the stars once again aligning and Kate and Carson taking simultaneous naps.
Kate in her "big girl" car seat. She loves this seat and thinks she is Queen of the Road. She just looks so grown up and proud of herself. Plus it's a bonus for me because I can see her and tickle her feet as we go down the road.:)
This is how I keep Kate in check during the day. Ok hang up the phone. Don't call CPS on me! She did this herself. Somehow she slid underneath the bars on the chair. And she was perfectly content to sit there. Silly girl.
This little boy is so sweet. He's Mommy's little man. :)
Love this cute little skirt my friend Hope gave her. She looks even cuter when she's pushing her stroller and walking in it. This skirt swings!
I love this view!
I am thankful for the following things:
1. The fact that Kate's hair is pretty unruly nowadays. It makes me laugh. It's a little Ace ventura with Flock of Sea Gulls mixed in.
2. The baby swing that my in laws handed down to us. Saved my life yesterday.
3. The fact that Kate likes cheerios and she eats them SLOWLY one by one. Great distraction when a certain hungry boy AKA "bottomless pit" wants to eat AGAIN!
4. The fact that Kate still takes a good solid morning nap. Oh man! I bet I just jinxed myself!
5. The fact that both of my kids slept at the SAME TIME this morning. What luxury! I got to take a shower AND put on make up AND dry my hair!Probably will never happen again. Something akin to the spotting of Haley's Comet I'm sure.
6. Jared's new job and the fact that today I got to stay home to experience all of this craziness. It's probably inevitable that I will go back to work someday but for now I am at home.What a gift wrapped up in a very weird and wonderful package.
Side note:Update to the question, How is Kate taking to Carson? Well to tell you the truth she is not. I'm sure we will all laugh at this someday but for now, slapping your bro on the forehead and shouting "NO!" everytime you come across him just ain't funny!Ok well it's sort of funny (the NO! part not the slapping part.) Paging jealousy, table for one! Hey Care, remember when I asked you how you keep from laughing at your boys even though what they're doing isn't right? I'm heading into that territory. Ah, good times.
So the other day Jared went to play golf with a friend. Might I add it was the longest golf game ever! He was gone for the amount of hours he would be working. This gave me a good glimpse of what life will be like taking care of our two kids by myself. Let me say that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Let me also say that it wasn't pretty either. Let's just say it was very REAL.Here's a little peek at our day.
Thankfully Carson was still sleeping when Kate called, "Daddddddddyyyyyy!!!" from her crib. I got up and fixed her a bottle and was able to spend some moments with Kate alone. I really treasure these moments since they are few and far between these days. I set her up with a waffle on the floor and went to get Carson. I sat on the floor and fed him, while I also pumped (aren't I the ambidextrous one?)and tried to interact with Kate while she played. I was thinking, "Yeah! I am Supermom! Hear me roar!" Here's where it got pretty real. A lot of people ask me how Kate is adjusting to Carson. The answer to that is pretty well. For the most part she goes about her business like he isn't even there. But when she notices him she has some mixed feelings. We have taught her to pat him, but for the most part her pats are too hard and end up more like slaps or swipes.Don't let the sweet folded hands in this picture fool you. I had just foiled her attempt to "pat pat (aka slap slap)" Carson on the forehead. 
I can tell she THINKS she is being gentle but of course in my perspective she is not at all. She has also tried to use his little body as a means to push up to a standing position. Not cool. She also likes to take out his pacifier. Which would have been ok if she hadn't tried to deposit it back into his EYE! The whole day I went back and forth between both of them. Put Kate down for a nap, feed Carson. Feed Kate, put Carson in the swing. Change Carson, Change Kate. Sneak in some lunch (one handed). In fact I am seeing that I am going to have to learn to do a lot of things one handed. So my plan for next week (and the following weeks) is that I have no plan. I'm going to be praying a lot. But other than that, I am going to take it minute by minute.
Things to remember for next week:
1. I will try not to physically stop Jared from going to work on Monday morning. Any stories he tells you to the contrary are pure fabrication
2. I will remember that Kate is still a BABY. Although I will wish with every fiber of my being that she can "go get Mommy a diaper for Carson" (I requested this on Thursday. Hey! She is very smart I thought I would give it a shot!)she will still just stare at me like I'm crazy.
3. Kate needs to be held to!
4. Even though it will be crazy I will cherish the sweet moments. For example, I taught Kate how to say, "juice" and she stood for about 30 seconds by herself that day.
5. They will cry at the same time. This is one of the tracks on the soundtrack to my life right now. It's not the sweetest sound but it's going to happen. It did happen. Many times that day. I only got a little frustrated when Kate started to imitate the newborn cries of Carson.I told her to please stick with her cry, it's much less desperate sounding. Once again, she looked at me like I was crazy.
6. I will remember that these are sweet times with my kids. This is a gift that is being given to me right now and I should not take it for granted. I have that song by Darius Rucker continuously going through my head, "It won't be like this for long, pretty soon this little boy and girl are gonna be all grown up and gone,this time is going to fly by so just hold on, it won't be like this for long."
This afternoon Jared and I were hanging out with our boy while Kate took a nap. We picked up the camera and just started shooting. Here are the results. Enjoy!
Today Jared and I have been married for SIX years. There are so many snapshots that I have taken over the years. Some of them made it to be actual photos but most of them are in my head. Like the first time we kissed. The night he asked me to marry him. Our first dance at our wedding. The morning I told him that we were expecting Kate. Jared's face when Kate was born. The look on his face when he is with Kate. The day we found out about Carson.
This year it has been emphasized to me how love is so much more than romantic attraction. I have seen love in a different light once again.Here are some scenes from our marriage this year that taught me so much about love.
A not very glamorous snapshot of love is both of us in bed with the stomach flu. Trying to take care of each other while we both feel so bad.
Waiting at the door for him to come from being laid off and just holding each other and telling each other, "No matter what, we have each other."
Realizing that the death of a parent calls for a special kind of love.Not wanting to see him grieve but knowing that it is necessary.
The love that comes from watching each other fall in love with our children.
I just want to say to my wonderful husband.Thank you so much for loving me and for letting me love you. You've taught me so much about love. I love the real life that we live together. We're not perfect but we are perfect for each other. I said it in our vows the day we got married and it still holds true for me today. Everything that I had to go through was worth it so that I could find you. You are and will always be the love of my life.
Scenes from Our Marriage.........
The night we got engaged 
Our Engagement picture
Carson has changed so much in just the first 2 weeks. It's very difficult to get a picture of him where he doesn't look frantically hungry, because well, he is always frantically hungry. People keep telling us he is the spitting image of Jared. I think he is the spitting image of an old man. Time will tell. Last night was difficult as he wanted to eat for 3 hours straight and was still not satisfied. My mind wandered to the bottles of formula that I knew were in his closet. But I realized that that decision should not be made at 2 am. This is the tough part.It was easier with Kate (or so it seems now) because we could just keep mixing bottles until she was satisfied. With nursing it takes it of you physically and emotionally. I think he might be going through some kind of super human growth spurt that lasts for weeks instead of days. Can you hear the frustration and exhaustion in my words? Yes I know, it will get better. Just being real.I promise to be all cheery and babyfied in my next post.I'm just really tired today.
Yesterday, we took both of the kids for their well exams. Carson's 2 week check up and Kate's 1 year check up. If anyone is crazy enough to have two kids close together like we did let me just give you some advice, don't do both of these visits together.
First the good and happy news. Kate weighs an even 20 lbs which puts her right smack dab in the 50th percentile on weight. The Dr. asked us if one of us was on the skinny side growing up and of course Jared was. The Dr. said it looked like Kate would take after him. Our little petite girl! Carson's weight went from 7lbs 8 oz 10 days ago to 8 lbs 5oz. To tell you the truth for as much as he wants to eat I thought it would be more like 10 lbs but I am so happy knowing that he is gaining weight. We got off on the wrong foot with Kate as far as breastfeeding went but I am having a totally different experience so far with Carson.I am really praising God for that as that was something I had specifically prayed about ever since I found out I was pregnant the 2nd time around.
Ok so this is the appointment where they will give Kate some shots (traumatic but she's had them before. I figure 5 minutes of crying since she is more aware of them and then we'll be done and out of there.)However, there is one more piece to this...the finger stick! The nurse comes in to do the finger stick and Kate moderately cries and the nurse is trying to squeeze as much blood as possible from her tiny little finger. Then Kate really cranks it up. Louder, longer, and more depsperate than I have ever heard her. Jared is holding her and losing his patience with the nurse and I am near tears because Kate is looking back and forth to both of us like, "Why aren't you stopping this?" By this time Carson knows it is time to eat and he gets going really loud! Two crying babies at the maximum volume. Fun times. And what's better than 1 finger stick? TWO finger sticks!!!! The nurse says she didn't get enough so they will have to do it again. Another nurse comes in and sticks the other finger. By this time Kate is hysterical and Carson is screaming bloody murder.And Kate still hasn't had her shots! I go outside to feed Carson in the car feeling like I just abandoned Kate but we agreed that they were both upsetting each other. Finally, both Kate and Jared come out and she is still crying and Jared is mumbling something about the nurse's incompetence. So you could say it was traumatic all around for all 4 of us. Lesson learned for today: No more double Dr. appointments.
Two weeks before Carson was born Jared texted me from work. It was a Thursday morning. The text read, "Just got laid off. They are letting me finish out the day." Gulp! This really came out of nowhere. I felt so bad for him because he had finally found a job that really suited him and suited our family. But just like many things in life, just when you think you are going down a known path...BAM! you have to change direction.Just like so many Americans who probably received the same news we were suddenly with out that next pay check. Did we panic? Well, sort of. It's funny that God chose to bless us with great careers and well paying jobs early on in our marriage when we didn't have kids. And when we have two kids? Well, that's when he chooses for us to both experience lay offs. Hmmmmm..... Most people I told about Jared's job loss repeated the often used phrase, "God will provide." Which is so true and believe me I know and believe that, but can I just say that that phrase is like a hot poker in the eye when you are trying to run down your finances and you realize that maybe you don't have as much in savings as you thought? As my friend Gracie said,"I know it's easy for me to say God will provide because my husband and I both have jobs." Exactly. My brother and I talked that afternoon and we both agreed that you can believe that God will eventually provide but also at the same time it makes you no less of a christian to say, "This really stinks right now!" But I did believe in God's provision. And once we picked ourselves up my prayer over and over again these last 3 weeks has been ,"Please God open a door of opportunity." No flowery long drawn out prayer just that simple prayer over and over. Well, today he did. Jared accepted a position with a company close to our home and will start on February 23rd. I say that "today he did" but looking back on the last month I realized He was already taking care of us. He was already providing for us. He allowed us to experience the birth of our beautiful son with out worry and fear of the future. He kept Jared's spirits up even when no job prospects were in sight.He cared for us in every way that we needed to be cared for.And we felt a calmness and peace that by the world's standards we should not have felt. I realized that that calmness and peace can only come when you are under the protection of our loving God. I go back to the song that I put on my blog a few weeks ago. "And right now through the good times and bad you are on your throne, you are God alone." No matter what, He is in control.
What do you say about a year that changed your life completely forever? There are no adequate words, so I will do it in song and pictures. Please enjoy our amazing year in pictures. God is SO good! We love our Kate and are thankful to God for her first year that was filled with blessings far beyond what we could have ever imagined.
We had an amazing time at Kate's Birthday Party today. So many friends were there and so many kids were there. It was chaos in a wonderful way. Kate had a great time being with everyone. God has blessed us with such great friends and family that care about our little girl so much. Special thanks to Kirk for doing the cooking for us so that Jared could enjoy the day with Kate. That is a priceless gift. Below are the pictures from the party. Although it might seem like an overabundance of detail I wanted to give out of town family a feel for what it was like to be there. Especially my Mom who called at the last minute to say she couldn't come. She works in the Senate and our President decided that the Senate would be in session both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. There are not many little girls who can say that their Mimi wasn't able to come to their first birthday party because of the President!Please enjoy the day through pictures.
Her Birthday Party dress. Thanks Honey!
Everyone left a birthday note for Kate on this frame. I am going to put a picture of her from the party in it.
The Happy Birthday sign that hung on our front door
Flower arrangement made by Daddy
"The wave" from the Birthday girl
Playing with Bear
Pictures of our girl in pretty party dress
Our family of 4! Wow!
A true Daddy's girl if there ever was!
Mommy's girl. I love this picture because you can see Jared in the background showing off Carson. 
My personal favorite of the day
She is pat patting me and saying, "Mama." Melt my heart!
I love this one. Pure Kate, with a bow and her thumb.
Bonding with Bear over a pre-cupcake lunch
She really surprised me with her cupcake. At first she daintily picked at the frosting, then she really enjoyed it! 
Opening presents with Mommy
Kate loved being with the tissue paper and cards. She left the present opening to Mommy.
Group Picture, An amazing group of family and friends
