I find myself doing a lot of "Yes buts" lately where my kids are concerned. Someone will tell me, "Kate is such a sweet little girl" and I will reply, "Yes but she is really heading into the terrible 3s." Some one will tell me how good Carson is and I will say, "Yes, but he's such a mess!" Someone will remark on how well Kate and Carson get along and then I will relay a story about how they fought over the Buzz Lightyear this week end. Why do I do this? Do I think that that person will think I'm bragging too much on my kids if I agree with them? Do I think that they will think that I think my kids are perfect? Sometimes I say this to gain some common ground. Hmmmm...... I decided to try the flip side yesterday. I picked Carson up from his bible class and the teacher remarked what a good boy he is. Instead of rolling my eyes and saying something smart like, "he only acts this way at church" or "he's such a challenge" I simply said, "Thanks. I love him so much." What a different reply and it even threw me off guard. But you know what? It felt really good. Believe me, I know that any Mom that I talk to knows that a 2 and 3 year old can be challenging and their behavior can change from minute to minute. I am going to try to start speaking well of my kids when they are in ear shot and even when they are not. By the way, I do have to say that yesterday while I was professing my love for Carson he was taking off down the hall with out me. He IS a stinker, but do I have to reinforce that to someone everytime I talk to them?
2 comments:
I LOVE this!!! I'm so glad to know someone else does it, too. I get so mad at myself when I almost always insert some negative to offset a positive someone says about one of my kids. I want to be more intentional about adding to the positive rather than taking away from it as well. Thanks for this post.
Great insight. Words and attitudes are powerful and their little ear and hearts perceive more than we realize (and want them to at times) Thanks for the reminder.
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