Living in the moment

On Tuesday I will be 30 weeks pregnant. That is just 10 weeks away from meeting our son Carson. If he follows in his sister's path it is just 8 weeks! Our son! It still seems so surreal to me. Sometimes I have to really stop and think about the fact that I am pregnant with our second child and he is coming very soon! Last night I could not go to sleep. It was one of those situations where you are very tired but sleep will not come. I would lay on my left side and Carson would kick indignantly. I would lay on my right side and he would kick again. And my back? That seems to start up a kicking storm! As I waited for him to get comfortable I thought about how much more I have felt this pregnancy than I had with Kate. I have really felt my physical limits.I feel very big. And very slow moving. Needless to say, I am terrible about living in the moment. I woke up this morning planning my day out. What would I make for dinner tonight? Will it be too cold to take Kate to the park? I wonder if she'll take an afternoon nap? That verse about not worrying about tomorrow should be permanently implanted in my ear! I complained to a friend this week, I just want Carson to get here! I definitely want to meet him but I am also in such a hurry to see what our lives will look like with 2 little ones. I already have this poor boy on a schedule in my head and he is not even here yet! God must laugh at me. He is teaching me through Kate to slow down! Live in the moment. Yesterday we went to the park. I spread out a blanket with some of her books and toys. I envisioned this wonderful time of Mother daughter reading. Her nestled in my lap while I read the books to her. What a picture that would make. Do you know what my sweet girl wanted to do? Play with my cell phone! She was content to sit there for over an hour and play with a cell phone. That's when I realized, she wasn't just playing she was doing something that I can only dream of doing. The weather was perfect. The sun was shining with not a cloud in the sky and the breeze was nice and cool. She was enjoying the moment. Just that one moment where she could sit on a blanket with her Mommy push some buttons on a cell phone and feel the cool breeze on her face. Babies are wonderful about living in the moment aren't they? They have no plans to make. No future to carve out. No expectations to fill. They are just there! Here I am! What can life give me now? Carson taught me that to last night. He also was living in the moment and trying to show me the same. My complaining mind surrendered to him. I said to him kick away little boy! Kick for all you're worth! It's 1 AM and you want to show your Mommy that you're in there and you're doing great? Go for it! Give me your best! It was just a couple of minutes later when I drifted off to sleep.