Spiritually Vulnerable

I have felt this way for sometime. But life gets in the way. Everyday expectations that I put on myself get in the way and push this feeling to the back of my thoughts. Here is my confession. I am spiritually weak, spiritually immature. I have so many goals this year for my physical well being. Having a second baby in the space of 1 year certainly gets my mind thinking about ways to drop pounds, making running schedules, finding ways to eat better, and just generally improving my overall health. But my spiritual health has been lacking for quite some time.I feel like my knowledge of God's word and his will for my life is somewhere around the Sunday school level. I know the basic stories and I feel I am an overall "good" person but I believe God expects more from me. I believe God wants me to know I am more than a wife, more than a Mom. He wants me to know that I am His. I am His above everyone else. God has really been putting this on my heart for quite some time but I have ignored this prompting. While I was in the shower yesterday morning (which frankly, is where I do my best thinking) God was urging me strongly to start a bible study this year. I am not saying that God spoke out loud directly to me. But I am saying that I felt a strong prompting. God is revealing his plan for me in little bitty snippets and I believe this is something He really wants me to focus on this year. Spiritual maturity. I confess that I'm not really sure what that looks like, but I want to be faithful to what God will show me. I went to the local Christian bookstore to pick up a study that I had heard about called, Esther:It's Tough Being a Woman by Beth Moore. They were sold out. I put my name on the waiting list for 4 books. One for me and three for the girls that I meet with on Monday nights. Believe me the timing is not so great according to my feeble mind. I mean, I am about to have a second baby in 3 weeks or less. But I also trust that God's timing is perfect. So now I am open. Open to what God will show me through this study. Will you please pray for me? And please pray for all of the other women out there who confess that they don't have it all together but are willing to let God show them the way.